God....
We all know he exists. Some of us choose to not acknowledge or perhaps they really don't know.
Anyway, that is not my problem nor is it my choice.
I love God. He has blessed my life in so many ways. For one, I shouldn't have children. I know, I know... but my situation is different from those that have one ovary, a tipped uterus or unfertile. Really it is. You see, when I was 19 I was diagnosed with brain cancer. I survived...no joking there. Anyway, I have limitations as to what I can and can't do. One of them is to bare down. You know, push a baby out? Or push a big ole yucky poop out? Well, I can't do that either. I also am not permitted to lift above 20 lbs. I try to obey that but does a family of 7 really have a load of laundry that weighs less than say 50 lbs? Or a sack of potatoes. I lift one ten pound bag at a time. I move laundry a couple of pieces at a time. I am getting off subject. Typical Jenn.
So anyway.... I am having a dilemma with church. My husband was raised 7th Day Adventist. I was raised Catholic. Although I never confirmed into the Catholic religion. We live with my father in law whom has to be one of the biggest religious believers I have ever known. I feel as though I am sinning because one, I don't want to attend his church. I am sorry but, I don't believe in everything the Church preaches and teaches. For one, I believe Pangaea did exist. At one point I believe God had all the planets mushed together. This allowed the people that inhabited the Earth to move more freely. God created the planet to begin with, right? So just because the Bible doesn't say the continents weren't mushed together doesn't mean it didn't happen. Well, I could be wrong because I am sure some bible literate person will point out the exact book, chapter and verse indicating that they were in fact never together. But for now, I haven't had any one approach me on that. The people I have spoken to about it just kind of shut their mouths when I start talking about it. Which of course, makes me feel like a sinner. Apparently, a "real" Christian doesn't think like that.
Well, my husband refuses to step foot into a Catholic church. He thinks as do most 7th Day Adventist that Catholics are all pagan. I keep asking him, because I was raised a Catholic does that mean I am going to Hell? He says no because what you don't know, God won't hold against me. So?????
I don't want to step into his church because I believe they are almost a cult. Really..... They have a lot of cult characteristics. If my husband really knew how I felt he would really think I was pagan. I am not a pagan. I BELIEVE whole heartedly in God. I BELIEVE Jesus is my savior. Because if he had not died on the cross for all my sins (and yes, your sins too) our world would be vastly different. But, and it is a big but....
The questions I have in my life right now are:
1. Do the 10 commandments still matter in todays world? Have you seen all the crimes, drugs, and sex floating around? You can not turn on hardly a station on television without at some point in a 1/2 hour time period there is a commercial selling you some fantastic potion to help your sex life. Or a commercial for the latest game where you act as a drug dealer and go around killing people...huh? you get my drift.
2. Do you really need to go to church to find God? I thought God and Jesus are in your heart always. You don't need an appointment to talk with God. So do you really need a set time each week to go to his house?
3. Does it really matter what day you decide to worship God on? The 4th commandment states to keep the Sabbath Holy. Well, growing up as a Catholic we went to Saturday mass a lot. Does that count? Does it really matter if I went to church on Sunday? Does God really care what day I worship or is he just happy that I worship? My grandmother use to say that God only asks for one hour each week. And then I lived in Virginia. Part of the Bible belt. There are churches EVERYWHERE. But in Virginia they are remarkably a totally different form of Christian than here in WA. They have churches marked Baptist (well so do we) but these Baptist churches are teaching the community how to beat the system and achieve all the help you can get out of the state. For real! You drive up and down any given road in the city I lived in.....everyone is home, all the time. But yet, they can afford to drive around in Escalades, Cadillacs, and such. Whatever..... In Virginia (now I saw this first hand with more than one family) you go to church faithfully on Sunday. You come home and have a huge meal, take a nap and then party the rest of the week. I had heard that back in the day they had speak easies. Okay well, they still do. It isn't what you think, well maybe it is. This is how it goes, you go to a "friends" house in your neighborhood to hang out and have a couple of drinks. However, your friend charges you for your drinks. Usually cheaper than a bar. This is ILLEGAL! Did you know that? Anyway, you run a tab and once a week you pay your friend the amount you owe in order to keep drinking in their home. They just buy liquor and beer and keep it stocked. They don't keep regular bar hours. So you can drink all day and night. And at any given time your friend's home is packed with people drinking, smoking....smoking anything you can that is illegal and cigarettes too. It is horrible. The stench in the city I lived in was almost intolerable. Partially from the smell of all the roasting peanuts (it stinks, it doesn't smell like peanut butter but more like frying chicken). going off on that tangent again.....
4. The bible says that as long as you accept Jesus as your Saviour before you die you will automatically go to Heaven. My father in law says this is very dangerous to live by because you don't know when you are going to die and may be to late to proclaim Jesus as your Saviour. So, how and when are you suppose to claim Jesus as your savior?
5. When you die, do you go straight to Heaven or do you go to sleep and wait for Jesus to return and get you? The 7th Day Adventist believe you go to sleep and wait. I was taught that you go to Heaven. This is in part to Jesus dying on the cross. You ask an Adventist and they will tell you up and down that no where in the Bible does it say you go straight to Heaven. I had the pleasure of working for a man who was also a preacher for the Baptist church (a real one). He had me bring certain texts up to my husband that indicated that when we die we do in fact go straight to Heaven. So this has me more confused because my husband had me go back to my boss with text that indicate we sleep. I was taught that you go straight to Heaven but, this is probably a pagan belief. After all, I was raised Catholic.
I could go on and on and on with my confusion but I am running out of time for my break. I am in the midst of painting my bathroom. I took a quick break to let some of dry so I could see how it looked.
