God

God....
We all know he exists.  Some of us choose to not acknowledge or perhaps they really don't know.
Anyway, that is not my problem nor is it my choice.
I love God.  He has blessed my life in so many ways.  For one, I shouldn't have children.  I know, I know... but my situation is different from those that have one ovary, a tipped uterus or unfertile.  Really it is.  You see, when I was 19 I was diagnosed with brain cancer.  I survived...no joking there.  Anyway, I have limitations as to what I can and can't do.  One of them is to bare down.  You know, push a baby out?  Or push a big ole yucky poop out?  Well, I can't do that either.  I also am not permitted to lift above 20 lbs.  I try to obey that but does a family of 7 really have a load of laundry that weighs less than say 50 lbs?  Or a sack of potatoes.  I lift one ten pound bag at a time.  I move laundry a couple of pieces at a time.  I am getting off subject.  Typical Jenn.
So anyway.... I am having a dilemma with church.  My husband was raised 7th Day Adventist.  I was raised Catholic.  Although I never confirmed into the Catholic religion.  We live with my father in law whom has to be one of the biggest religious believers I have ever known.  I feel as though I am sinning because one, I don't want to attend his church.  I am sorry but, I don't believe in everything the Church preaches and teaches.  For one, I believe Pangaea did exist.  At one point I believe God had all the planets mushed together.  This allowed the people that inhabited the Earth to move more freely.  God created the planet to begin with, right?  So just because the Bible doesn't say the continents weren't mushed together doesn't mean it didn't happen.  Well, I could be wrong because I am sure some bible literate person will point out the exact book, chapter and verse indicating that they were in fact never together.  But for now, I haven't had any one approach me on that.  The people I have spoken to about it just kind of shut their mouths when I start talking about it. Which of course, makes me feel like a sinner.  Apparently, a "real" Christian doesn't think like that.
Well, my husband refuses to step foot into a Catholic church.  He thinks as do most 7th Day Adventist that Catholics are all pagan.  I keep asking him, because I was raised a Catholic does that mean I am going to Hell?  He says no because what you don't know, God won't hold against me.  So?????
I don't want to step into his church because I believe they are almost a cult. Really.....  They have a lot of cult characteristics.  If my husband really knew how I felt he would really think I was pagan.  I am not a pagan.  I BELIEVE whole heartedly in God.  I BELIEVE Jesus is my savior.  Because if he had not died on the cross for all my sins (and yes, your sins too) our world would be vastly different.  But, and it is a big but....  
The questions I have in my life right now are:
1. Do the 10 commandments still matter in todays world?  Have you seen all the crimes, drugs, and sex floating around?  You can not turn on hardly a station on television without at some point in a 1/2 hour time period there is a commercial selling you some fantastic potion to help your sex life.  Or a commercial for the latest game where you act as a drug dealer and go around killing people...huh? you get my drift.
2.  Do you really need to go to church to find God?  I thought God and Jesus are in your heart always.  You don't need an appointment to talk with God.  So do you really need a set time each week to go to his house?  
3.  Does it really matter what day you decide to worship God on?  The 4th commandment states to keep the Sabbath Holy.   Well, growing up as a Catholic we went to Saturday mass a lot.  Does that count?  Does it really matter if I went to church on Sunday?  Does God really care what day I worship or is he just happy that I worship?  My grandmother use to say that God only asks for one hour each week.  And then I lived in Virginia.  Part of the Bible belt.  There are churches EVERYWHERE.  But in Virginia they are remarkably a totally different form of Christian than here in WA.  They have churches marked Baptist (well so do we) but these Baptist churches are teaching the community how to beat the system and achieve all the help you can get out of the state.  For real!  You drive up and down any given road in the city I lived in.....everyone is home, all the time.  But yet, they can afford to drive around in Escalades, Cadillacs, and such.  Whatever..... In Virginia (now I saw this first hand with more than one family) you go to church faithfully on Sunday.  You come home and have a huge meal, take a nap and then party the rest of the week.   I had heard that back in the day they had speak easies.  Okay well, they still do.  It isn't what you think, well maybe it is.  This is how it goes, you go to a "friends" house in your neighborhood to hang out and have a couple of drinks.  However, your friend charges you for your drinks.  Usually cheaper than a bar.  This is ILLEGAL!  Did you know that?   Anyway, you run a tab and once a week you pay your friend the amount you owe in order to keep drinking in their home.  They just buy liquor and beer and keep it stocked.   They don't keep regular bar hours.  So you can drink all day and night.  And at any given time your friend's home is packed with people drinking, smoking....smoking anything you can that is illegal and cigarettes too.  It is horrible.  The stench in the city I lived in was almost intolerable.  Partially from the smell of all the roasting peanuts (it stinks, it doesn't smell like peanut butter but more like frying chicken).  going off on that tangent again.....
4. The bible says that as long as you accept Jesus as your Saviour before you die you will automatically go to Heaven.  My father in law says this is very dangerous to live by because you don't know when you are going to die and may be to late to proclaim Jesus as your Saviour.  So, how and when are you suppose to claim Jesus as your savior?  
5.  When you die, do you go straight to Heaven or do you go to sleep and wait for Jesus to return and get you?  The 7th Day Adventist believe you go to sleep and wait.  I was taught that you go to Heaven.  This is in part to Jesus dying on the cross.  You ask an Adventist and they will tell you up and down that no where in the Bible does it say you go straight to Heaven.  I had the pleasure of working for a man who was also a preacher for the Baptist church (a real one).  He had me bring certain texts up to my husband that indicated that when we die we do in fact go straight to Heaven.  So this has me more confused because my husband had me go back to my boss with text that indicate we sleep.  I was taught that you go straight to Heaven but, this is probably a pagan belief.  After all, I was raised Catholic.
I could go on and on and on with my confusion but I am running out of time for my break.  I am in the midst of painting my bathroom.  I took a quick break to let some of dry so I could see how it looked.

Girls day

We are rounding the corner to getting our income tax refund.  I can almost taste it.  I am super excited like always.  However, more so this year.  I am looking forward to spending the day with my daughters doing girlie things.  Each year I try to treat them to a very special day.  This year, I am trying to figure out how to make everything fit into one day.  I would love to take the girls to a nail place and have them either get their first real mani and/or pedi.  Brooke-Lynne is the obstacle here.  She wants to do the girls day and the boys day.  I am thinking what we are going to have to end up doing a family day where we go bowling, movies, dinner, Seattle,  etc.  And a girls day where we go shopping, lunch, mani/pedis, dancing brush.  Brooke-Lynne loves the dancing brush but, she also wants to experience paint balls, golfing and the batting cages.  Guess she will have to decide which one she wants to do more.  I hope she chooses the girlie day.  But, I will understand if she chooses to go with Dad because after all my daughter loves sports more than nail polish.  I want to venture down to Centralia and check out the outlets.  My oldest is very much into shoes and clothes and makeup.  We don't permit her to leave the house looking like a clown but I will allow her to use a little.  I was her age when I started to wear makeup.  I was wearing makeup before shaving my legs.  Ha!  Now, that is just a little weird, yes?  Anyway, Allison is all girl so I know she would be down for getting her nails done, having lunch, doing the dancing brush thingy, and shopping.  I know my girls can shop.  Not me so much but I do want to check out the outlets and maybe the super mall?  I told my husband that maybe, just maybe, the girls and I would do great wolfe lodge.  He didn't like that idea to much because he has always wanted to do that too.  But then, that would require purchasing bathing suits for the whole family.  Well, we do need them.  I wonder if they make them long enough to cover me from neck to knees.  ha!

Jan. 6

Dear Diary........
So today is a gray day outside.  Not much happening this week.  Thank God.  I have the flu or a really really bad cold.  It has been kicking my butt this whole week.  Luckily, I have several children that want to take care of me.  The only problem, some of them are now sick with the crud.  Even my husband is feeling not to hot.  I can only pray that this leaves quickly.
I feel a little more peace in my life.  My sister Amy is somewhat talking with me now in a positive manner.  Not sure how long it will last but I am grateful for this stretch of road.  It is very refreshing.
This is the first year that I failed to capture Christmas with the camera.  It saddens me a little because I would like to show my children as much as I can how they were when they were young.  I know we have memories but pictures are always so much fun to look back on.  I also didn't care to think of any new year resolutions.  I always seem to maintain the same ones year after year and so this year I decided to not think about it.
I have long term goals in my mind and that has caused a lot of excitement and pipe dreaming.  I used to think it was odd as a child that my parents used the phrase "pipe dreaming" however, it fits.  I love to dream.  I love to achieve my dreams.  The hard part is getting the wheel turning but once it is turning I keep on rolling until it is accomplished.
My ever growing list of lists is still determined to keep adding up.  I swear I must have an accordion file full of lists; all in my brain of course.  Have you ever sat down and just thought about the things you want to accomplish in your life; your bucket list?  Oh I have.  Many many times.  I have so many fantastic adventures on this list. I have been able to cross some off but not many.  Not yet.
My birthday is this month.  I will be turning 36.  My mother told me I am getting old.  Thanks!  What does that make her then?   I don't feel 36.  I surely don't act 36.  However, I must say I look 36 and then some.  Aging is not something I am doing to gracefully.  BTW I want to try the Olay product that "allegedly" can erase or lighten dark spots.  I did a lot of tanning in high school and now I have these spots showing up on my face.  Back in the day I think people referred to them as liver spots.  I also had some really weird stuff happen to my skin when I was pregnant with the twins.  I think those two situations probably have caused these spots to appear.  I refer to it as my Michael Jackson syndrome accept I am turning black and not white.  I only have 4 spots but they bug me.  So I am hoping in the next few weeks to get this product and try it out.  It can't hurt, right?  If I had money and by money I mean over 100k in the bank I would seriously consider plastic surgery.  I would love to get certain parts of my body back to where it is suppose to be.  One of my lovely daughters asked me why I had 4 chins.  4 chins?!?!?!?  I looked at her and I said "What did you say to me???"  She replied "Why do you have 4 chins"  I bluntly stared at her with a bit of hurt and anger in my eyes.  I calmly asked her "You are in 3rd grade, and you do know how to count, so how can you say I have that many chins?"  Her reply "Because you do"  Then she proceeded to touch and count.  Good grief!  I got up and ran to the bathroom.  I know the weight has crept up on me this past year.  I do by all means, intend to get it off.  It is alot harder to get it off then to put it on.  I will do it though.  So to help me with that, I am going to take a before picture (not visible to people on the internet, muahahahahahaha) and keep a chart of my weight loss.  I might even measure inches.  We will see but I will do it and my start date will be posted in another blog.  I might even break down and put a before picture.