Redneck and Whitetrash

I am the type of woman that when she doesn't know something I look it up, study it and make an opinion based on the facts I have collected.  Don't come at me and expect me to think that just because ya'll live somewhere else (ummm hello I lived there for 10 years you dimwit) that I don't know the laws.  I am by know means a lawyer BUT I do know that you can google pretty  much anything you want to learn about and have it accessible to you in a fraction of a second.  Man I love the internet.  But, I do miss doing things the old way.  Simple times. When you actually had to go to the library and look something up in a card catalog!  Holy cow, eons ago but I still know how to do it.

This evening my daughter Allison comes to me and says she hears something in the pantry.  I go in there and yeah you can hear something in there.  Then I notice this long skinny tail up against the wall.  My first impression was that there was a black wire hanger in the pantry but, I quickly crossed that off the list when I recalled we only have plastic ones now (again simpler times).  Well as soon as my brain put two and two together I had a complete and totally non controllable fit.  Literally screaming at the top of my lungs, running in place and shaking my hands and arms all over the place.  THEN I mange to somehow slip and go falling with no style whatsoever to the floor.  No, I didn't get hurt.  Yes I am in shock and no I am obessed with my pantry.  I must have checked it at least a dozen times already.  I even put my cat David in the pantry which he didn't like.  So I took David to the basement door, opened the door and put him in.  I quickly shut the door and ran away like I was being chased by bees.  A 1/2 hour later I went to let him out because he wouldn't stop crying.  So whatever is in the basement and pantry must be bigger than David, right?

I hope my father in law and husband can handle this.